A Self Love Process

Insight into my self-love journey + my overall beliefs

Self-love is such a complex topic, at times feeling more like an aspirational goal than a verb that can be easily put into practice. Even with the guidance of gurus and wellness experts, the idea can feel abstract and challenging to implement. And the big corporations looking to integrate themselves into our self-love journeys to increase their bottom line – aren’t making things any clearer. I feel for the people that are really trying to embark on this transformative experience, having to silence out noise from the self-healers and the corporate marketers, to understand its true essence.

Self-Awareness

"Genuine self-love stems from profound self-awareness." - Do Your Work

It’s crazy how many people think that they’re self-aware, but don’t know the first things about themselves. I recognize this because I’ve been there. It took me 31 years to realize that the best of me is an expert learner, a planner, a strategist, an educator, a developer, and a leader. I’ve spent a considerable amount of time doing the introspective work and garnering feedback from those who know me best.

But only fools believe that they’re purely golden, and only cowards deny their shadowed selves. Proudly, I stand in between the two extremes, having confronted my flaws and weaknesses head-on. The worst of me is egotistical, fearful, elitist, closed, self-focused, and incredibly insecure. These insights come from people that have experienced me, difficult conversations that have grown me, and divine relationships that have challenged me.

It’s how I’ve come to know myself in full – in all of my good and all of my bad.

How well do you know your strengths and weaknesses?

• 0%I don't really know my strengths and weaknesses.
• 0%Pshh, I can name 'em all.

Self-Acceptance

"The more you know, the more grow." - Do Your Work

Growth, for me, begins with accepting who and what I truly am. And it remains an ongoing journey.

I’ve always wanted to be the extroverted, kind, fun-loving, bubbly, and nurturing person that others gravitated towards. And while I have some of these characteristics innately, the essence of who I am, is simply not that. It would hurt when my friends referred to as a “Boss” or “HR Loren”– this fundamentally differed from who I desired to be. And so, I resisted.  

Resisting your gifts and talents, or even worse, not recognizing them at all, is dangerous place to be. It prevents you from understanding the core of your life’s work and the unique contributions meant specifically for you. True self-love means embracing your positive attributes and recognizing their connection the people you’re here to touch and the work you’re destined to do. It means whole heartedly accepting that you couldn’t be made any other way and finding beauty in both the best and worst parts of you.

How accepting are you, of you?

• I lowkey struggle with self-acceptance.
• I feel empowered by all of who I am.

Connection to Purpose

"When you self-accept, you invite purpose." - Do Your Work

It’s interesting how the journey works, revealing all the ways we can make an impact, when we choose to self-accept. Acceptance, for me, began with clear declarations of who I am and my connection to a greater purpose. I remember saying over and over, “I have to be who I am — in order to do — what I am called to do.”

Back then, I didn't know how my learning, planning, strategy, developing, and leadership skills would come together in ways that influenced my business and overall approach to life.

Doing this work has led to moments of genuine pride, where I truly admire and see myself. Even my flaws don’t seem as problematic; they’re simply my gifts in reverse. The time I've spent understanding and accepting my flaws allows me to manage them (or let them be as they are). This sense of agency, coupled with the reminder that I'm never truly stuck, fills me with great joy, hope, and a deeper sense of self-respect.

This has been my self-love process – what it’s looked like, what it’s felt like, and how I’ve come to know and understand the concept.

How does your existence serve a greater purpose?

• I really don't know, but now I'm curious.
• I know and I'm excited about it. #DYW